I Don’t Have It Together Yet; But I Am On My Way

This past Sunday, I had another opportunity to be in church as our choir rehearsed. I enjoy spending time with these young people I love so much, often having fun at their expense as they work so hard at putting songs together that God may be glorified; which they do because they love God. Our choir is not paid. Every time I watch them rehearse, I see the beauty of God’s handiwork. Every one of them is as unique as their voices are unique. The personalities are so different that it is visible in the way they sing, stand or even respond when they are corrected. It is so beautiful to see the different voices and personalities come together to produce a symphony when the song eventually comes together; but there is so much chaos on different levels before it comes together. The more they work on a song, the more the confusion seems to increase; sometimes to the point where I need to be reassured that they will eventually get it together. Then, it gets even more confusing and then suddenly, symphony/masterpiece.

Ecclesiastes 3: 11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.”

Sometimes, as I watch the seeming chaos, I wonder - isn’t this indicative of how God often works in our lives? There are times when one’s life is so mixed up that one wonders – is God confused or has He lost control of this? He seems to start a good work which begins by unfolding nicely and in a way that’s understandable. Then just as one begins to think how great life is, everything begins to go in a troubling direction. Before long, it is going in so many directions that one is confused and struggling to get a grip whilst also trying to keep the chaos, a secret. By this time, you are certain satan has taken over. Then suddenly! The manifestation of God’s word and everything is beautiful. Of course, the secret you struggled so hard to hide isn’t a secret because God has permitted for it “to be shouted on the roof top” and not because it makes Him happy to make you look silly, confused, forsaken, dejected; it is all part of the process. It is evidence that it is God, who works from the inside out, at work. Pride makes us see the process as demeaning so we put all our energy into acting like we have it together and miss responding appropriately. Unfortunately, we don’t realize that it is impossible to demean what/who God has made valuable but God is mindful of that. He knows as He works that our value is not tied to what we are going through; but to the price He paid for us which is the blood of Jesus. Just like the choir puts the chaos behind them when the song is finally done publicly, we must be confident that “rehearsal and/or chaos’ will pass and our lives put on display, as we worship God daily, until we need to “rehearse for another program.” Remember - every rehearsal takes one higher.

Lamentations 3: 31 – 33 “For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.”

Philippians 3: 12 – 13 “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection…no, dear brothers and sister, I have not achieved it.”

As the choir members position for the hard work of rehearsing the songs, I see all the beauty waiting to be tapped; voices with tremendous possibilities, yet some will never be tapped and for the silliest reasons. Some just hate to be corrected because they feel demeaned when corrected all because they feel worthless since they have tied their worth to performance as singers. Some feel embarrassed when people laugh as they sing funny and this is again because they don’t understand the reality of their worth. Do it right or wrong, people laugh or don’t, none of these impact on our worth. Indeed, it is our worth that gives us the standing to do these things we do. Sadly, many believers will never fulfill their destiny because “they feel the need to act like they know it all.” Unlike Paul, we count ourselves to have or desire to be perceived as having “apprehended.” This is a trait we acquired from the world which we must die to. It is pride and pride in any form, destroys. We don’t know everything otherwise we will be God. Indeed, you look silly when you pretend like you do and it is a trick of the devil to make you look silly. Our value was predetermined by God when He paid for our lives with the blood of Jesus Christ. We are not valuable because of what we do or can’t do and gifts we have or don’t have or how knowledgeable we are, but because God made us so. So it is okay to be wrong and everyone laugh as long as you are teachable. It is great to be taught and to accept correction. The confidence that knowing one’s worth brings to their life is amazing; it is beautiful and makes it easy to be teachable.  

Ephesians 2: 10 “We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Your process is meant to bless someone else. We read all Paul went through including his fears and they encourage us today; please let God make you a blessing as He promised. If your pain encourages someone else and gives them hope, then you are a blessing. Your process does not devalue you; nothing and no one but you can. If Paul said he didn’t know it all at that point in His life, we know you don’t so don’t bother. God is looking for openness and sincerity. Just keep working at it as often as you fail. You are a winner nonetheless. Moreover, if you find that what you are working at isn’t for you, don’t be ashamed to change. Keep working at whatever your hands find to do. One person sings beautifully and other doesn’t but they are all valuable; maybe one person just needs to work harder. Do not envy those doing better please; just work at it.