Learn From Ammon

We must be careful to counsel one another correctly just as we must be careful where we seek counsel and what counsel we accept. Now more than ever before, our counsellors are just as important as us listening. This also suggest that we have to be careful who our friends are because we listen to them. It is only normal to hear those we spend a lot of time with even without any intention to do so. It is only natural to hear voices that consistently speak around one yet we can’t afford to listen to just anyone. We must prayerfully choose who we listen to especially when it comes to issues that pertain life. Indeed, every decision is important and sometimes they may not just affect the decision maker, but several others too so that a decision based on bad counsel may also impact on several others changing lives for the worst forever. Ammon, king David’s son who fell in love with his sister and loved her so much he fell ill, could not have intentionally ruined his family and set himself up to die. Not even the evil friend and counsellor, his cousin, gave much thought to the consequences of his counsel; and like him, we also often do not give much thought to the consequences of our wrong counsel.

2 Samuel 13: 2a & 3a “Ammon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill … but Ammon had a very crafty friend-his cousin Jonadab.”

I believe that at that point in time, both the counsellor and Ammon were only thinking of themselves and the pleasure of getting exactly what they wanted when they wanted it and in the way they wanted it. I guess it is not the worst thing in the world to long for a thing but we must learn that not all we long for should or would be ours. Even when some of these things are within our reach, the fact that we can’t have them is a reality, one we must accept from time to time. Ammon knew his longing was wrong but he had never learnt contentment or self-control. He never learnt enough discipline to hold back when he longed for something he could not have. It is easy to talk about Ammon but believers are doing just whatever we long to do these days despite the Word of God and/or the Holy Spirit. Indeed, some still get raped by believers today under the pretext that the women wanted the sex but this is because the rapist is so self-consumed and/or absorbed, he chooses to believe in the lie he has told himself. The truth is such people are only too desperate to have what they want despite the consequences. They also would have found counsellors for themselves, who are like them and share the same spirit Shimeah.

2 Samuel 13: 5 “Well. Jonadab said, I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”

Ammon did not want to control the evil longing for his sister; instead, he allowed his desire control him and for everyone that thinks the fact that “we could not help ourselves” makes an evil thing okay, Ammon and his family endured the terrible consequences of his action. Self – control is absolutely important if we must fulfill our destiny. No wonder God counsels that we need this fruit of the Holy Spirit. Ammon could have had several other women but he wanted this very one and wanted her right away so could not wait to marry her. It is sad to observe that though Shimeah’s family did not suffer as a result of his counsel, it was the beginning of a lot of pain for David’s family. It is therefore, of utmost importance that we learn self-control and contentment even if we were not taught it by our families. It is never too late to learn it as the Holy Spirit indwelling us has that virtue in His nature.

2 Peter 1: 5 “In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control…”

It is okay to appreciate a good thing and not have it. It is okay to appreciate what God is doing in any other life and not attempt to ruin it because it isn’t happening in yours. Please let us stop counselling one another wrongly. We must be able to remind ourselves that we can’t have all we want and even if we will have it, it may not be at the time we want it. It is time to remind ourselves of things like self-control. We don’t have to bring down one another. The pleasure derived from evil never last long. It never measures up to the pain caused.