The Ugliness of Stubbornness

Stubbornness appears to be one of the several wrongs fast becoming acceptable in the midst and lives of believers today. It has become normal and common practice for believers to reject correction because as we often say “I am a stubborn person” so that we reject correction not because such correction is incorrect but because we feel the need to do whatever we desire. Unfortunately, the word of God rejects this positon and makes it clear that it is unacceptable to God. I have heard the phrase “I am stubborn” so many times, and much more frequently in our present times, in the course of counselling with believers so much so that I was getting confused especially because the word can indeed be used in a good way. So I went to my dictionary as you know I often do and I would like to share some of what I found about the word stubborn in which stubbornness takes its root. Amongst several things, I found that stubbornness is being obstinate, unyielding, and resolute and is also characterized by a refusal to change one’s mind. The dictionary also says it could be used to describe one that is difficult to deal with and/or an illness or stain that is resistant to treatment which to my mind suggests that a stubborn person may need treatment to which they would remain resistant. The English dictionary indeed admits that it could be good for example when one is resolute in their pursuit of a good cause. I guess this is stubbornness that the bible says is required for taking the kingdom of God. Every believer knows this kind of stubbornness because we have an enemy who is also very stubborn but in a bad way so that we have to be very resolute in dealing with him to successfully enforce the victory Christ won for us.

 

Mathew 11: 12AMP “And from the days of John the Baptist until the present time, the kingdom of heaven has endured violent assault, and violent men seize it by force (as a precious prize-a share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense execution”

 

Stubbornness is often used though, in its negative form and this is the stubbornness I am writing about in this article. This is the one the dictionary refers to as being obstinate making one difficult to deal with. This stubbornness is so ugly that it has the power to actually translate one’s look in the physical making them ugly. This stubbornness is not always very obvious; indeed I would rather deal with those whose stubbornness is really obvious. It can be very salient so that appearing passive, it is in truth very aggressive and that to my mind, is the very worst because it takes a little longer for people who can provide the help one needs to realize that the person indeed has a problem – stubbornness. Unfortunately, many lives are getting ruined today because of this one matter of stubbornness. Interestingly, despite all the harm that it is doing to people, I have found that a number of people think it is cute and some kind of adornment and sadly, this includes even a lot of believers. Such people even happily make declarations about their children or child being stubborn and they laugh with some sort of glee looking like it is wonderful. This stubbornness is eating into the very fiber of the lives of several believers and slowly destroying them but unfortunately, they don’t realize.

 

1 Samuel 15” 23a “Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as worshipping idols.”

Proverbs 28: 14 “Blessed are those who fear to do wrong, but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.”

 

Such believers will not take correction. Insisting on doing what they want to do, they refuse to think through any suggestion to improve their lives; some, even priding themselves in the fact that nothing can cause them to change their minds when it is made up and not even the word of God. Some such people actually say it but those who are a bit more laid back or passive will not say it boldly but express it in their actions and decision making. Such people definitely have not thought enough on the thoughts of God as revealed in His word concerning the matter of stubbornness otherwise, they would be doing all that is necessary to bring about the needed change in their lives. There is no doubt that no thoughtful believer would deliberately continue on that path that leads to destruction. It would be sad if this truth was revealed to them and yet, they continued in the way they have chosen because then, there will be no other remedy. It is time to begin to deal with the enemy within because if we don’t, how can we then deal with the enemy without and this we must do to live fullness of life that is our portion and go forward.

 

Proverbs 14: 12 “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.”

 

Proverbs 29: 1 “Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.”