We must be careful to counsel one
another correctly just as we must be careful where we seek counsel and what
counsel we accept. Now more than ever before, our counsellors are just as
important as us listening. This also suggest that we have to be careful who our
friends are because we listen to them. It is only normal to hear those we spend
a lot of time with even without any intention to do so. It is only natural to
hear voices that consistently speak around one yet we can’t afford to listen to
just anyone. We must prayerfully choose who we listen to especially when it
comes to issues that pertain life. Indeed, every decision is important and
sometimes they may not just affect the decision maker, but several others too
so that a decision based on bad counsel may also impact on several others changing
lives for the worst forever. Ammon, king David’s son who fell in love with his
sister and loved her so much he fell ill, could not have intentionally ruined
his family and set himself up to die. Not even the evil friend and counsellor,
his cousin, gave much thought to the consequences of his counsel; and like him,
we also often do not give much thought to the consequences of our wrong
counsel.
2 Samuel 13: 2a & 3a “Ammon became so obsessed with Tamar that he
became ill … but Ammon had a very crafty friend-his cousin Jonadab.”
I believe that at that point in
time, both the counsellor and Ammon were only thinking of themselves and the
pleasure of getting exactly what they wanted when they wanted it and in the way
they wanted it. I guess it is not the worst thing in the world to long for a thing
but we must learn that not all we long for should or would be ours. Even when
some of these things are within our reach, the fact that we can’t have them is
a reality, one we must accept from time to time. Ammon knew his longing was
wrong but he had never learnt contentment or self-control. He never learnt
enough discipline to hold back when he longed for something he could not have. It
is easy to talk about Ammon but believers are doing just whatever we long to do
these days despite the Word of God and/or the Holy Spirit. Indeed, some still
get raped by believers today under the pretext that the women wanted the sex
but this is because the rapist is so self-consumed and/or absorbed, he chooses
to believe in the lie he has told himself. The truth is such people are only
too desperate to have what they want despite the consequences. They also would
have found counsellors for themselves, who are like them and share the same spirit
Shimeah.
2 Samuel 13: 5 “Well. Jonadab said, I’ll tell you what to do. Go back
to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to
let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if
she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”
Ammon did not want to control the
evil longing for his sister; instead, he allowed his desire control him and for
everyone that thinks the fact that “we could not help ourselves” makes an evil thing
okay, Ammon and his family endured the terrible consequences of his action. Self
– control is absolutely important if we must fulfill our destiny. No wonder God
counsels that we need this fruit of the Holy Spirit. Ammon could have had
several other women but he wanted this very one and wanted her right away so
could not wait to marry her. It is sad to observe that though Shimeah’s family did
not suffer as a result of his counsel, it was the beginning of a lot of pain for
David’s family. It is therefore, of utmost importance that we learn
self-control and contentment even if we were not taught it by our families. It
is never too late to learn it as the Holy Spirit indwelling us has that virtue
in His nature.
2 Peter 1: 5 “In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s
promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence,
and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control…”
It is okay to appreciate a good
thing and not have it. It is okay to appreciate what God is doing in any other
life and not attempt to ruin it because it isn’t happening in yours. Please let
us stop counselling one another wrongly. We must be able to remind ourselves
that we can’t have all we want and even if we will have it, it may not be at
the time we want it. It is time to remind ourselves of things like
self-control. We don’t have to bring down one another. The pleasure derived
from evil never last long. It never measures up to the pain caused.
